There is definitely an increasing interest among non-Indian women towards Indian men, as the tech industry is bringing more and more of the latter to countries like USA and the UK. Non-Indian women have asked me some basic questions about Indian men. Being an Indian guy myself, I thought I would help answer some of those questions in a blog post. The following information would be useful to anyone who is interested in dating Indian men. This post is especially addressed to non-Indian women.
Most of what I write below is true of native-born urban Indians, irrespective of where they are in the world right now. However, this post is partial to the scenario where a non-Indian woman is interested in dating an Indian-born guy, residing in a non-Indian country (in other words, a non-resident Indian). Some sections of this post are very specific to Indians in the US. I am not familiar with ethnic Indians, who are born and brought-up in a non-Indian country. So, what I say below may not be true of such foreign-born Indians. I am also not very familiar with how things work when a foreign woman goes to India and dates an Indian guy in India.
Anytime one writes something like what I am writing - making generalizations about people from a vast and diverse culture like India - one is taking a big risk of appearing to be prejudiced or stupid, of saying something which is totally different from the experiences of others, of offending some people, etc. So, remember that there are exceptions to everything I have written above and I will write on this subject going forward. After all, despite cultural influences, each person is an individual in their own right, and each situation is unique. Also, remember that I am merely stating the truth as I see it. Finally, remember that I am an Indian guy myself. I have dated Indian women as well as (white) Americans. There may be some unavoidable prejudices based on my background and experiences. However, it is important for those who know me - Indians and Americans - to understand that all of the following may not be true of me, as an individual. I am merely stating the predominant trends among Indian guys.
The first thing you should remember about an Indian is that he comes from a culture which is very different from the Western (American and European) culture. The Indian might dress like Westerners and might speak English, but his culture is very different. It is very old, very deep and all-pervading in an Indian's life. If you are interested in an Indian, you should consider the breadth and depth of this cultural influence on him. The culture might influence the Indian in all or any combination of the following: food, communication (particularly communication in showing/sharing affection and during disagreements/conflicts), bath & toilet habits, living conditions, attitude towards money and spending, recreational activities and hobbies, tastes in entertainment, religious and spiritual beliefs, attitude towards the other gender, relationship with own family and the partner's family, relationship with children, etc. You should be prepared for the possibility that the Indian might differ from you in all of the above factors. You should try to get to know the Indian as much as possible vis-a-vis these factors.
Diversity within Indian Culture
Another thing you should keep in mind is that India is a very diverse and complex country. It is an amalgamation of numerous distinct as well as fuzzy cultures. So, even within India, the cultural differences are pretty significant. A person's geography, his family's traditional home (native place), the socio-econo-religious lifestyle of his family and the places where he grew up, his parents and family, his own individuality will all have a significant influence on his personality. So, do not make the mistake of thinking that if you have known one or two Indians, all the rest of them must be alike. There may be some similarities, but there will also be many differences.
Good things about dating Indians
Don't let all the cultural differences scare you away from Indians. The guy you are interested in may not necessarily be quite so different. Also, some of the differences are easily resolved, and just a matter learning, making minor changes, or getting used to each other and each other's culture. And then, differences are not necessarily bad. It is quite possible that these very differences might make a particular Indian guy very special to you, they might be a source of joy, and even the foundation for your relationship with him. There are some great things about dating non-resident Indians:
- Most non-resident Indian are smart. They are at least college-educated. That is what enabled them to legally move to a foreign country to study or work.
- They are economically stable, holding well-paid jobs.
- They are a polite and pleasing people. They are reasonable and dependable, easy to get along with.
- Your Indian guy could be your window / door-way into an immensely rich, complex and interesting ethnic culture. It could be a real fun ride, if you are interested in diverse ethnic experiences.
In Part 2 of this post, we shall discuss what I think are the most important factors you should know about if you are interested in dating an Indian outside India: attitude towards romancing women, money & immigration status, and his family (not in any particular order). Knowledge of these factors will help you understand an Indian man and his motivations better. They might also alert you to the differences that could come up when you date him.
Dating Indian Men II